I have begun a new project.
My client is 79 years old. She is still very vibrant and independent. However, she has been suffering from a few ailments, as she gets older, in particular high blood pressure and Barrett’s esophagus. Barrett's esophagus is a complication of chronic gastro esophageal reflux disease (GERD). GERD is a disease in which there is reflux of acidic fluid from the stomach into the esophagus (the swallowing tube). It most commonly causes heartburn. Sometimes, the medications make her dizzy. The dizziness causes her stress, concern that she may fall, get hurt, and end up in a nursing home. Dying in a nursing home is her biggest fear. Her daughter calls her every day to see how she is doing and to be sure, she is OK.
A few weeks ago, she was suffering from the dizziness almost all of the day and was feeling nauseous. Her daughter was concerned. The daughter talked to her that morning but when she tried to call her in the afternoon, she did not answer the phone. The daughter was busy at work, so called her Mom about 7:30PM. When her Mom did not answer the phone – she thought that maybe she had gone to a movie with her sister. She called again about 9PM – no answer. She called at 9:30 – again, no answer. She called again about 10PM – no answer. She left a voicemail that she was going to bed and would not call her again, but when she got in, she should call the daughter. Well, the daughter called her Mopther at 10:30 – still no answer. Now, she was beginning to get worried. The last she had spoken to her Mother, she was not feeling well and was dizzy. The daughter continually dialed her Mother's telephone number, let it ring, when it went to voicemail, she hung up and dialed again. She did that for an hour. At 11:30PM, the daughter got dressed and asked her husband if he would drive the 45 minutes from their house to her Mother's house with her. Reluctantly, he agreed. The daughter continually dialed her Mother's telephone number for the full 45 minutes of the drive. Now, the husband was also concerned.
They got to the Mom’s house; rang the doorbell three times – no answer. The daughter forced open the screen door and turned the key in the lock – scared about what she would find inside her home.
Well, well! The Mom did not hear 2 hours of phone calls, nor did she hear the doorbell or the forcing open of the screen door, but she did hear the key turn in the lock! (Go figure, the ears of a Mom!) She was sleeping and did not hear a thing!
The daughter cried tears of relief most of the way home… The next morning, she called her Mother to tell her they have new rules. The Mother is to call the daughter every morning when she wakes, and every night before she goes to bed. The daughter will call her somewhere in-between. That evening as they were discussing (and chuckling) about the new rules and how concerned the daughter was, she told her Mother that she HAS to think about moving to an apartment, preferably closer to the daughter. The daughter cannot be driving 45 minutes one way and another 45 minutes home in the middle of the night again.
Eight years ago, the daughter wanted her Mother and Dad to move to an apartment closer to her. At that time, the Dad was ill and suffering from a weakened heart and all that went with that. Had they moved eight years ago for the Dad, the Mom would be in the place she needs to be now. She would still be living on her own, she would still be independent, but in a smaller place, with no stairs, and closer to the designated daughter.
The Mother told the daughter she does not want to move. The thought of moving is overwhelming to her. The daughter told her there are new rules and they need to begin the process of lightening her load so she can think. They contacted me to help. This lightening of the load so she can think, is the focus of our project.
Every dresser drawer, cupboard, closet, buffet, curio cabinet, and storage area is so full of “stuff” -- it is packed solid with pictures, photos, clothes, toys, books, knick-knacks, etc… You would never know she is such a secret hoarder! The house you see is neat as a pin and so clean you could about eat off her floors! However, the inside of any cupboard or drawer is PACKED AS SOLID AS A BRICK! This is excess EARTH energy.
The Mother’s 4-pillar chart is also packed full of EARTH. The Mother is a Metal Sheep with Earth, Earth, and more Earth supporting her. She is very structured and organized, goal oriented and unwavering. She is solid -- the salt of the Earth. She will NOT move easily.
I am moving forward with this difficult project. I know I need to protect myself, and watch how I approach this Mother and daughter and the Mother's home. I need to remain respectful and sensitive to her concerns and needs, but keep her moving forward toward the next phase of her life.
Blessings,
Dorine Doyle King
The Irish Swede